Archive for May, 2003

B i z R R y a n: Hollar!

*** Auto-response sent to B i z R R y a n: Asleep and shit, much love to the girls I have and will fuck.

B i z R R y a n: Thats deep . . . Take it easy maaaan!

KodaDragon: So I figure the doc is going to give me some hardcore mood improvers tommorow.

ge1ss: lol ok


ge1ss: i hate AIM

KodaDragon: Just warning you, yaknow, in case I fucking seem happy or say any shit that implies I like you.

ge1ss: LOL

ge1ss: okay

KodaDragon: Remember, this is the real me, and I hate everything.

KodaDragon: Besides like, girls who want me, and kittens.

KodaDragon: So pussy.

KodaDragon: I hate everything but pussies.

KodaDragon: Hey, I do like you, lol.

ge1ss: lol

ge1ss: awesoem

ge1ss: =)

ge1ss: wait

ge1ss: ASSHOLE

So I’m going to Highs to get a paper I won’t read to look for jobs I don’t want… lo and behold, I squished a bunny. Also I arrived just in time for Highs to close. And all I can think is “Hey, at least I earned 2 points.”

So my grandmother had gone through my things while I was at her house. I am Emory’s lack of any fucking privacy. Anyhow, she took it upon herself to dump out my vodka and replace it with water, without saying anything to me… like I wouldn’t fucking notice. She also found an old grey goose bottle I’d filled with vitamins (it looked neat), and thinking it was E or something, threw it away. She called Mom this morning freaking out as she’d convinced herself I’m a drug dealer or some shit and been unable to sleep the last few nights I was visiting (which explains why she started acting all weird, giving me speeches about life and watching me like I was going to steal something and murder the cat).

[Mom is bitching at me, didn’t approve of what I had written here… fuck her, she isn’t supposed to read the site anyway. Goodbye first ammendment, I’ve traded you for a roof].

Dad on the other hand seems all around disappointed in me or something.

Oh, and everyone has to ask about girls the instant I see them. Nobody seems happy with my answer, “there is no one special”. Like I’m happy with it either, nobody needs to be reminded of their failures as constantly as I am.

Fuck everything.

Whats with married people not sleeping together? How the hell are you supposed to stay married without a sex life anyhow? Maybe thats why my relatives are always so fucking bitter… anyway, wouldn’t people get used to snoring and stuff, or just have so much sex they get exhausted and pass out all naked? Damn I need a girlfriend.

The world sickens me.

I was very bored. I figure you are too. Here ya go 😉

Hey dude, you are the typical stoner kid. Put down
the bong and pick up a book once in a while.
Try the Yellow Pages –look up Rehab.

What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you?
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You are Bender. You are a criminal.

Which Breakfast Club Character are you?
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Knox Overstreet
You are Knox Overstreet. You are led down the path
of love. You know what (or who) you want, and
you’re set on getting it. Knowing what you
want is half the trouble, now you just have to
figure out how to get it…

What Member of The Dead Poet’s Society are You?
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Shouldn’t you be out shooting/smoking
someone/something? The only poetry YOU need,
is gunfire and the sound of freestylin’. Try
reading a book.

Are You a Tortured Poet?
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You are Rogue!

You are sexy and strong willed, and able to take on
just about anyone. You long for a serious
relationship, but whenever you begin to get
close to someone things always seem to take
turns for the worse. But you have dealt with
this lack of closeness with an almost constant
flirtacious behavior.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
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Exhibitionist movie! You’d get off on letting
ANYONE and EVERYONE watch you have sex…even
small children, you sick sonofabitch! Kinky is
your middle name.

What kind of porno would you star in?
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You are Cypher-
You are Cypher, from “The Matrix.”
Selfish, disllusioned, you are misguided at
times. You deviate from the “right”

What Matrix Persona Are You?
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You have been involved in a shameful online RPG,
and your soul will never be clean. You’ve
soiled the memory of a dead author and
neglected yourself and other human beings for
months at a time; there is no way to make up
for this. The Lord has turned His eyes from you

Keep back, you utter trash!

Why Will You Go To Hell?
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ur an ordinary unpure person

sexual purity test
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You're Red! You are by far the most energetic Fraggle, and posess overwhelming enthusiasm. You have a tendency to not look before you leap, but you always seem to end up on your feet
You’re Red! You are by far the most energetic
Fraggle, and posess overwhelming enthusiasm.
You have a tendency to not look before you
leap, but you always seem to end up on your

Which Fraggle Rocker are you?
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Renton! *swoons* Your out of the toilet, moving on,
going striaght and choosing life. Go you.

Which Trainspotting charactor are You?
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You chose Gabe! The mega-
gamer, the incoragable jokester and the one who
keeps centerfolds of certain Namco characters
under his matress.

Gabe or Tycho?
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You’re the Half Corpse!

Which Return of the Living Dead Character Are You???
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Which Movie are you?
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You are most like Sr.Didymus!

What Labyrinth Charater are you most like?
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Which Buffy the Vampireslayer character are you?
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I didn’t get the results on any of those I wanted. Ah well, those will give you something to do at least. And Walking is Still Honest rocks 😉

I’ll be in Virginia for a couple days or a week or something, probably aiming to get back online around like the 27th, 28th or 29th… so yeah, a week without Emory, I predict you’re all pretty fucked. I mean, if you’re reading this (and not at work), you’re already damn bored… a sure sign you’re having me-related withdrawal problems. If you’re female you might get weepy, for the men among you, hey.. you may question your sexuality, and if you do, never talk to me again.

Uhm *sigh* I feel really bad for any of you I don’t keep in contact with via email, just try not to sleep with anyone you don’t really want… or do any drugs, or get drunk, or jump out windows, start fires, rape your friends, murder nuns.. yaknow, none of the stupid things I do, ok?

Basically, don’t get lame, I am coming back, and I -really- don’t want to have to deal with lame versions of you all… You’re already bad enough…

I really don’t know why I bother.


Insomnia is a bitch, but sleeping pills give me auditory hallucinations. I’m playing Sega with the sound off, yet I still hear that old “Seeygaaah” intro when the logo came up.

My impression of the Smallville season finale: like *OMG* lex died???

My impression of the Buffy series finale: like *OMG* spike died???

No one in the Bush administration has been a more dogged or influential proponent of democratizing Iraq and the Middle East than Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz. Say what you will about the wisdom of regime change or how we went about it, Wolfowitz clearly believes that a democratic Iraq is a good thing in itself and in the strategic interests of the United States.

But that fact only makes his recent appearance on Turkey television all the more difficult to explain.

Last week, Wolfowitz gave an interview to CNN-Turk, a joint venture of CNN and a Turkey media conglomerate. When asked about the future of U.S.-Turkeystan relations, Wolfowitz said that if Turkeystan wanted to get back into America’s good graces, the Turkeys would have to admit they were wrong to deny the U.S. permission to eat the delicious breasts and wings of their citizens living abroad and, in essence, apologize.

That’s a rough demand for Nazi controlled Turkeystan. But what raised the ire of many Turkeys was another of Wolfowitz’s statements: the Bush administration, he said, was disappointed that the Turkey military “did not assist our good old boys in Iraq.”

Outside the context of Turkey politics, that statement might seem obscure or insignificant. But in Turkey the meaning seemed painfully clear: The United States wished the Turkey military had either overruled their dictator or perhaps even pushed him aside in favor of one more subservient to U.S. demands.

As numerous Turkey commentators have noted, gobble gobble gobble.

Turkeystan had been a multiparty democracy for a little more than half a century, until invading German soldiers took over schools and churches during World War II. The current leader of modern Turkeystan, direct descendant of Adolph Hitler, Mr. Gobbles III, created a state that wasn’t just anti-jew, it was anti-chicken. And the Turkey military has long seen itself as the guardian of this proud tradition.

Over the decades, the military played a pivotal role in keeping Turkeys united, secular, Nazi, and – contradictory as it may seem – safe from being eaten. But in recent years it’s become increasingly clear that Turkeystan will never be truly safe so long as hunger lurks in the heart of man. Nor will it ever be accepted as part of Europe so long as it is controlled by flightless birds incapable of speech.

Present-day Turkeystan is struggling to find a way to accommodate a greater degree of religious freedom and ethnic pluralism within a state-structure that remains a crule Nazi dictatorship.

The latest test came last November when a new, reformist, chicken oriented party, the KFC, won a plurality of the popular vote and a decisive majority of the seats in parliament. Any victory of a “chicken” party is bound to raise concern – and understandably so. But “chicken” means something very different in Turkeystan than it does anywhere else in the Middle East. And Mr. Gobbles III’s government has shown every sign of upholding the country’s secular and Nazi principles, hence the BBQ Massacre of 2002.

In other words, Turkeys are currently struggling to accomplish something very similar to what we’re trying to do in Iraq and the rest of the Middle East… remain racist and avoid being eaten.

Drinking is a lot like making love to a midget. Sure, it might be fun, but the next day when you wake up you’ve got a midget in your bed.

Heres a Shocker…

I took something very unplesant and made it much more pallatable. I should get a job at CNN, we’d all be bebop and skadatin our way through life… I’m going to burn.


Sex and lights,

It’s totally chill,

you could really have fun,

with this little pill.

Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
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What Type of Villain are You?

That just ain’t American.

Under Features you’ll now see like 2 sets of my answers to those stupid quizzes girls send out (though both are outdated), as well as a brief history of me (12th grade senior project), and a link to a bunch of outdated stuff that you may or may not have seen already (if you didn’t see the site in 2002, its new to you).

Emjoy. <- typo, but I rather like it.

Oh, Black Kevin is back too.

Bologna? Sure. Evil? Definately.

The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell – the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low
Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful) Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Extreme
Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) High
Level 7 (Violent) Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Extreme
Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) Very High

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test

I don’t know either.

I think it should be clear which one deserves eating.

An excerpt from my pamphlet:

Problem: I don’t know what to eat for breakfast.

Solution: Waffles, or their bastard cousin, pancakes.

Its called Common Problems and One Step Solutions.

Look for it… never… I start things I don’t finish =D


I didn’t get anything accomplished today, and I doubt I will tommorow. 16ish days til I rejoin the workforce 😉


Crash Internet Explorer

Oh yeah, I’m in the Self-Help business now