Archive for February, 2004

Danger: Picture-based Update

Thats Tichondrius, I got him at work for 80 cents. He is my demon lord and I must obey him.

Thats Sarah Shade, she used to work at GameStop and came back during Christmas to help out. Her Dad just died 😦

Thats my less-photographed cousin, Damon.

Dr. Science in the hizzouse.

3 hours 0 customers makes Emory go crazy.


I need a haircut.

Thats my NGage, its like handheld gaming… for people without hands.

Ok, so I go into work today and after Alex left I notice this pie plate. What I first thought were possibly Tacos turned out to be used ear candles. The colored parts are crap that got sucked outta peoples’ ears. Thats so fucking sick.

Thats Malcolm, he was seasonal help at GameStop. He was also black. I haven’t seen him in a while.

My Dad is the best drivest evar.

There is a switch on the ceiling in the Wellness Center. I cannot figure out why. Perhaps it controls the very fabric of the reality in which we live, I shall never know. I mean, we’ve got a ladder, but that spells effort.

Justin looks like he just ate crap.

Thats Bonnie… she’s my favorite Nintendo product.

This is actually a screenshot from my upcoming title GameStop Colloseum. Here we see a level 5 Bonnie using her KarateChop against a level 6 Mike, who defends with the BlurStance TM.

Now when I say ‘Erik and I got wasted and slept with a couple of Saigon whores!’ you’ll know who I’m talking about.

This is Dustin… he assembled the Millenium Puzzle today and couldn’t take the strain of Yami on his mind, thus winding up in the psyche ward til next week. At least, thats what Grayson told me.

Grayson shies away from the camera. Like a woman.

Grayson’s Tattoo is Death from Sandman… fucking awesome.

Bill loves Jesus. Jesus loves Tacos.

If anyone can explain Donnie Darko to me, please do.

Update: Nevermind, what I first understood to be plot holes were (conveniently) explained away by The Philosophy of Time Travel, the book which the main character reads within the movie (which can also be found online)…

Fuck, I just lost my last post due to my crappy internet connection, it went something like… uhh…

I need a girlfriend, so here’s what I’m looking for (had it phrased better last time, promise):

Plays video games

5’10” or shorter


Slim to almost-medium build


Can cook, clean and sew (just in case)

Melatonin (sorry, heh)

Pretty (7 or above)

Classy, but easy

Long hair, preferably dark

In college



And onto the dealbreakers:

Substance abuse problem

Previous sexual abuse

Overly religious


Owns an N-Gage

Poor table manners

If you don’t meet the requirements, fear not, the fact I’m a guy means I’ll most likely sleep with you anyway. And now, in closing, a picture of my robot. My girrrl robot.

The Postal Service – Such Great Heights has seen fit to expand my MP3 collection from 4 to 5. Nobody tell the RIAA.

Either a snake bit me in my sleep or I’ve got a zit the size of Mt. St. Helens growing on the side of my nose. Either way, it fucking sucks… I blame testosterone. Then again, I can trace my favorite moments back to Mr. T… so I guess in the end the benefits outweigh the occasional appearance of big pink bumps that hurt like a bitch and burst several days later in a shower of blood and some white substance I can only presume is Elmer’s Glue. After Bonnie and I successfully convinced Erik to see Euro Trip last night we uhm.. saw Euro Trip… the point is now all Erik wants to do is go to Amsterdam. Which would be cool, if Erik was rich, but as it currently stands globetrotting with my assistant manager just isn’t in the budget. Hell, a new battery for my car is already going to suck away this week’s “slush fund” (wellness center $$).

Deaftonight: so i just saw that picture of you with the crazy hair, and all i could think about was the scene from a movie that rips on the breakfast club… ‘eenie meeni miney MO. your mother was a HO. famouse clown? BOBO!’ haha! that picture made my night. thank you.

Ascarodiel: i just wanted to say: your message scroller along the bottom just told me that these are not the droids i am looking for. and it made me laugh on a not-so-awesome morning. so thanks. – it’ll make you.

Emory + 10 Hours at Work =

Work today was uhm, interesting… nothing out of the ordinary, but I can’t seem to shake this feeling I’ve got that something horrible is about to happen. Got a ride to and fro via Justin, since for the second day in a row my car isn’t starting (hopefully I’ll get it taken care of tommorow, but probably not since I’ll be at work from 10am to 9pm)… Going clubbing tommorow night is doubtful, I dunno, Erik is all jazzed because the cast of Road Rules is going to be somewhere… or something. In other news Candace is apparently still commenting on my site… the girl needs to be calling and apologizing, or disappearing. Justin taped Angel and Smallville tonight so I get to watch them tommorow 😉

The new James Bond game rocks, unfortunately my copy seems to be a little… uhh… yeah.

News Flash: Bill loves Jesus – Story at 11

Bad news, they’re canceling Angel. Good news, figured out how to get online from the Wellness Center…


I’d rather have Angel.

Today was pretty interesting… tonight at work I hear this dude yell “Don’t call my wife a bitch!” or something, and turn around to witness *shocker* this 50+ year old man pushing around a 14 year old girl. He like grabbed her by the throat and threw her down going “Don’t you dare”… she tried to stand up, and twice he pushed her back down. I wanted to do something but it was all over in about 10 seconds (eventually he stormed off and she ran after him going “Who the fuck are you?”). Anyhow, flash forward about 30 minutes, and I’m being questioned by police officers about what I saw, whether or not he strangled her (which he did… sorta…) and find out that now, because I witnessed the crap, I’m probably going to testify at some trial in the future (the cops wanted all my vital stats). After work Justin had expressed interest in going to Pizza Hut, so we changed that to Denny’s. I invited Eric, Eric invited this really tall dude who used to work at GameStop (forget his name) and uhm anyhow, uhh, it was nice. Then we went back to Eric’s and played Champions of Norrath. Tommorow Mike is having some party starting at 5ish, which just so happens to be when I get off work. FUCK YEAH.

Clubbed, Slept, Worked, Chilled. Nice.

Worked, uhh, Champions of Norrath is DVD-9, won’t copy… Razor1911 got busted (yes, its a sad day for all of us)… my tape of Angel/Smallville got fucked up (guess I’ll try recording the rerun Saturday)… Baha Beach Club tonight, some hot friends of Eric are going. A woman came into the Wellness Center to get Kava Kava for her cat, bet it dies, hope so anyway.

*blink blank blunk*

Uhh… FF:CC is good, as is Norrath (damnit). Got unstuck in Metroid: Zero Mission during a lull at work. The lull lasted 4 hours. I believe its termed a ‘shift’.

Its getting close to Valentine’s Day, and once again, I’ve found myself single and without a significant other. I think my timing just really sucks. No wait, girls suck, my timing is IM-FUCKING-PECKABLE (yep, you can peck it). Anyhow, this convo I had with B-randon summarizes the day:

whitelyrics: I can describe myself in two words “Racially Challenged”

KodaDragon: Nigga please.

whitelyrics: haha ive been talking to people on this list

KodaDragon: You so white if you fell in the snow and uhm… there was a black guy there… he’d shoot you. Goddamn black people are scary.

whitelyrics: hahaha

KodaDragon: I haven’t yet decided whether Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles is good.

whitelyrics: thats usually not a good thing

KodaDragon: Eh, rarely do I make snap judgements… about games… about everything else, sure, but not about games.

whitelyrics: hahahaha well your passion is your passion

KodaDragon: Its supposedly geared around the multiplayer, and as I’ve yet to play multiplayer, I am undecided.

whitelyrics: i just took a test to figure out what religion i should be

KodaDragon: And?

whitelyrics: Neo Pagan 100% Unitarian Universalism 95% Secular Humanism 88% Liberal Quaker 87% Mahayana Buddism 83%

KodaDragon: LOL

KodaDragon: Neo Pagan 100%?

whitelyrics: yeah i read about it when i saw that and the only reason is because they really dont have any unified religion

KodaDragon: So I can proclaim myself the High Ishtar of Finksburg and clothe myself in deli meat… and thats ok?

whitelyrics: pretty much

KodaDragon: Haha! If I can eliminate those damn dogs from the equation, my wardrobe will be spectacular!

whitelyrics: hahahaha you and your deli meat..

KodaDragon: I had something stuck in my teeth, and upon retrieving it, was disgusted at how dirty the finger I just stuck into my mouth was.

whitelyrics: hahah ewwwww

KodaDragon: I had these two old ladies come into the store today…

KodaDragon: One’s breathe smelled as if she’d eaten the crap of a cat who dined solely on cinnamon.

KodaDragon: The other, a state employee (she helps the jobless and felt the need to give me a card) came in to get something to help her memory…

KodaDragon: Unforunately, she forgot what it was she’d come in for.

whitelyrics: hahaha…

Meh. Going to Baha Beach Club on Thursday tho, I think. Eric’s door cut me… oh, and I’ve got crazy hair.

Update: I think Bonnie and Greg are going…

Pros: Bonnie might be going.

Cons: Uhh… Greg. Last time we hung out he annoyed the fuckizzle out of me.

I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness reminds me of 80s rock, and I like that. Rooney’s I’m Shakin, a song about withdrawal that metions The Neverending Story, is also a personal favorite. Rounding out my current collection of MP3s are Booker T and the MG’s Green Onions and uhh A.M. 180 by Grandaddy (from the 28 Days Later soundtrack).

Yeah, thats right, I’ve only got 4 MP3s… goddamn lightning + harddrive = sadness.

I think I’ll open a Concentration Camp. Yaknow, for the kids with ADD. Oh, and in case you missed the Superbowl:

And, as a special treat, the girl on the left was the one Kobe Bryant raped:

Good choice Kobe, good choice.

Slept. Worked. Got wasted. Taught a monkey spanish. Violated the third ammendment. Got a free sub via coupon.

So in other news I’m starting to lose my memory, it took me a good ten minutes of sitting here drawing a blank to recall yesterday’s exciting details! Highlights include copying Maximo vs. The Army of Zin and beating Knights of the Old Republic as an evil bastarrrd. At which point Bastila, who was all up in my grill, told the Sith that Daddy needed a new pair of motherships. Then we kicked some Republic ass thanks to a little thing I call ‘the star forge’ and an army of poorly rendered droids stood around in formation pronouncing my greatness. I thought the game ended a little too quickly… I mean, there is only one boss (Malak) who you defeat with just your main character. I was hoping for something on a more massive scale, yaknow, like the bosses in Baldur’s Gate.

I would’ve preferred to square off against the cast of Family Ties. Eat light saber Mallory, HUZZAH!

Oh wait, the last paragraph is filled with crap nobody cares about… aka my daily life. Don’t worry folks, something exciting and crazy is bound to happen soon.

Duhr duhr duhr, go to work, duhr duhr duhr, copy videogames, blah blah blah, talk to girls… every goddamn day.

Checked out the Frozen Throne from work today… got off at 9:30, only to get a call from Erik at like 10:20… went over to Erik’s, Bonnie came over, went to Blockbuster, watched Willard and Jack Frost. Bonnie and Erik proved more entertaining than either one of those crapfests. Uhm, gotta wake up for work at like 11 tommorow which means I need to have gone to sleep an hour ago.