Archive for March, 2004

Normal Sunday, worked etc. As I get older I’m starting to recognize a cyclical pattern… beyond screwing up *cough* a lot *cough*

Looking over the years, it seems like I go from being intensely devoted to some concept (alcohol, eBay, Stephanie, MP3s, etc…) to insane (trust me) to happy to bored.

I’m talking really F’ing bored, to the point where I typically go on anti-depressants just to feel something other than Blaahhh. The problem with antidepressants is when they kick in I feel good, so I stop taking them =D Then I ride the resulting tidal wave of happiness (TM) until it runs out… then, since the previous state of false happiness had become the norm, I feel depressed as hell. I guess it could also have something to do with withdrawal, teehee.

The point is I’m bored, I think thats evident to anyone whose had the pleasure of coming into contact with me during the past two months. So what the hell am I supposed to do? PS2 ain’t cutting it. I don’t feel much like bothering with girls. My ever-shrinking buddy list is no solice. And work, fuck it, work is crushing my spirit faster than pre-Spandex Richard Simmons on top of any number of boys during his sodomizing youth as a custard filled skinsack.

Just thought I’d share that with the many (3 or less) people who read this website on a weekly (bi-yearly) basis.

Alright, lets see… in PS2 news those geniuses over at have devised a way to patch ISO’s in order to play PS2 backups online. This doesn’t really affect me since I barely have dialup, but still, its cool.

Ray (owner of the cellphone accessories kiosk) offered to teach me how to flip cars… that is, buy them and resell them for more than you paid, thereby earning a hearty profit. I’d only need to put up something like $500 to get started, and we’d be reselling through eBay… he claims to have executed such an endeavor successfully in the past, stopping only due to a car accident which left him slightly gimpy for several months (during which time he started up the kiosk, which now earns in excess of 100k per year). Funnily enough he made this offer after I’d been looking over my current financial situation trying to think of some way to earn a quick buck, yaknow, for the ladies. Well actually for bills and shit. But ultimately… ladies. So we’ll see if I go for it or not, $500 = 2 weeks pay.

I don’t think I have anything else worth sharing.

And he said unto them “Call out from work”, and they did, and unto them was given the sleep of the workless, and it was good.

Mom is talking to be about venture capitalists… she just remembered what they were called, apparently, and thinks they fund ideas like mine. Granted my ideas rock, but I think they’re a little too revolutionary for the moment. Besides, who is going to sink their money into a college dropout? Nobody.

So they sent me a disconnect notice for the internet about a month ago… they (meaning the man) finally went through with it today, apparently. Am I still connected to the internet? Of course… I’ve just got to deal with Juno popping up little advertisements every few minutes (give it a couple days and I’ll have some pop-up killing software installed).

Plano Texas is fucked up!

Some kid wore an anti-nazi T-shirt today. Wow, what a bold statement. You mean someone is against Nazis? Wow, what a free-fucking-thinker. Maybe tommorow he’ll wear a “Free Mandella” hoodie, or dare I say, opt for the MLK fannie pack. Fagtards who want to pretend their conformist regurgitation of spoon-fed political ideals makes a difference in the corporate machine would be better served sitting on their porch cramming french-bread pizza into their rectums, at least then I for one would be entertained.

Watched the other 4 episodes of FLCL. Mixed reaction. Anime is so freaking weird. Ms. Debbie came into the Wellness Center today, lol, she seemed happy enough to see me. At the GameStop meeting tonight Grayson announced they’re slashing our employee discount. Twenty percent down to fifteen. Erik and I successfully eliminated Dustin from last month’s contest, netting me a $50 GameStop gift card. Greedy bastards apparently win out over psychos.

Here’s a rundown of the March 19th:

Woke up at 11, went to the mall, saw Dawn of the Dead with Justin, worked at GameStop, went to Christina’s 17th birthday party w/Erik and Katrina, drank a bunch of beer, saw Jeremy Burns w/some cute pizza hut waitress, met Liz (another pizza hut employee, she sat Justin and I on Wednesday… crappily), drank some vodka, threw up in Christina’s bathtub, woke up at 11 this morning shirtless in Erik’s basement. At some point between the vodka and vomiting I blacked out.

At 2am Jeremy called my cellphone and left a fairly hilarious message.

To my knowledge I didn’t harm anyone. Or anything.

Katrina gave Erik a BJ, or something.

Katrina has spent the past two nights at Erik’s, I think they’ll wind up a couple. If Erik’s whole “I don’t sleep with girls I’m not dating” spiel wasn’t total bullshit. Heather was at the mall today, she’s kinda cute. Last night I ate at the Super Buffet with Mike, we got recognized by a couple of dipshits. I’m a delusional quasi-celebrity, nothing says 10PM like being told the proper way to eat Sushi by nerds. Complete nerds. The type who watch anime and have blogs. I’m awesome.

Now thats my kinda woman.

I wrote a song in the shower:

We’ll kill kill kill our way to victory

We’ll punch punch punch our way to fame

We’ll kick kick kick you in your fucking face


Is fair game

We’ll drill drill drill the ground for oil

We’ll sign sign sign our souls away

We’ll eat eat eat a fucking ton of meat

We do what we want

Its our way

We’ll tax tax tax away your income

We’ll teach teach teach you its ok

We’ll jail jail jail any descenters

In the good ole

US of A

Today was an emotional rollercoaster. Is it rollercoaster or rollarcoaster? Oh wait, I’ve got a spellchecker. Práctico de costa del rodillo… goddamnit, my spellchecker is an immigrant. I guess that explains the low wages.

Anyway, I walked out of the house this morning. My keys, however, defiantly remained on my dresser as if to say “Fuck you.” Long story short The Wellness Center opened for business at 10:45, 45 minutes shy of the normal opening time, of 10:00 (in case you were retarded, as many of you frequently are). So uhm, work work work, and *bang* its 2 o’clock baby!

Went to Subway, and got my usual Turkey Bacon & Spicy Orange Sauce. Apparently somebody called out sick because the franchisee owner was running register, all grins and broken english. Basically by asking for my employee discount I so confused the man I got what should’ve been a $5.40 sub for the low low price of $5.

Uhh… work work work… Erik came into GameStop, got a new jacket, not sure why thats noteworthy… work work work… I’m reading a magazine, and up walks the cute girl from Claire’s. The very cute girl from Claire’s. Who dated Erik for like a week and dumped him. Did I mention she’s cute? Anyway she starts talking about some white PS2 she ordered and being all attractive and whatnot… so assuming Erik gives me the greenlight, and she expresses further interest, maybe I’ll ask for her phone number. Woo. She’s cute. And I forgot her name.

Turned down going clubbing as I worked one of my 11 hour days on the 3 hours of sleep I got last night. Hopefully somebody will take a picture of Bonnie somehow managing to look better than usual.

If I’m not supposed to take personal calls during business hours, should I stop taking work-related calls during my personal hours?

Mom washed my MegaMan shirt so I’m going to wear that tommorow. For all 11 hours of employment. I’m due for a haircut.

Last night I dreamed I was back on the school bus and Jessica Hooper and Maggie Blais wanted to have a threeway because I was, to quote, “so pale and depressed.” Sometimes I wonder whats up with my subconscious. Then again, I have to wonder if consciously I would’ve objected. Sometimes I wonder whats up with me.

Work continues on my program to generate a website based off Trillian logs. I needed to improve the basic Date structure I was using, so I modified the Date class from one of my C++ books and decided to use that instead. It wasn’t really necessary to get the program functioning, but I thought the logs could really use date correction (since my computer clock frequently skips around, albeit merrily).

An ATM ate $200 of mine yesterday. The money came out, and in a flash was taken back with the BSoCD (Blue Screen of Cash Denial) informing me this machine was temporarily out of service. I left a detailed message with the ATM vendor, and the Comcheck corporation is reviewing the transaction, so worrying about it seems like a trivial pursuit, speaking of which, I think that game comes out for PS2 pretty soon… it was on my list of things to acquire in March.

Current Music: Rooney – I’m Shakin’

It appears in my absence a number of drakonian rules were imposed on all Wellness Center employees. Though most’ve the document appears to have been scrawled by angry monkeys, translated into English and spelllchecked, it may impact me. The document, in full, will shortly be placed on my website. And ridiculed. Like everything else. I would’ve had it tonight, ready to glare you in the face and generate many a guffaw, but it appears my cousin never connected the 3.5″ floppy drive grinning at me from the front of my gigantic PC. I attempted to connect said drive, but apparently I have a spare ATA-66 cable when the motherboard only supports ATA-33. Or something like that. It didn’t fit, ok? And its 1:41am.

I think I like Anime. This scares me. I don’t want to turn into one of ‘them’… you know the type. They go to ‘cons’, dress up, bitch about people not using chopsticks, tattoo gundams on their genetalia and breathe sailor moon references. I asked Erik to borrow his “Furry Curry” DVD earlier. He didn’t let me, bastard, but still. I asked.

I could bitch or gossip, but now its 1:42am.

So, I didn’t go to that meeting…


What are they going to do, fire me?

I just got a $25 ticket for not wearing my seatbelt. I mean, really, doesn’t it seem like they’re just looking for reasons to take my money these days?

Tommorow I’m supposed to go to some Total Health meeting all the way over at the Reisterstown Road Plaza. That seems too far for me to go for a meeting for a job which is crap. GameStop, an infinitely larger company, never requires me to travel farther than to the store where I work for meetings, c’mon now Wellness Center, get a grip.

If I don’t attend aformentioned meeting, which unless its crucial to my future as a Wellness Center seat-warmer I have no plans to, I could go watch the WORLD WIDE FUCKING WRESTLING SWEATY MEN TOUCHING EACHOTHER WEARING SPANDEX INAPPROPRIATELY LEAGUE at Mike’s parents’ house. Somehow I’m not thrilled about this prospect either.


So apparently people are going clubbing, and according to Mike the object formerly known as the person named Bonnie is going to wear some pink miniskirt. This event, for him, warrants going. Although my inner 13 year old wants to yell “Boobie time!” and high-five, something seems troubling about basing my actions on seeing an unavailable coworker dress provocatively and grind against her boyfriend. For several hours. While I try unsuccessfully to grind against anything with a heartbeat.

So, will I go? Possibly.

Damn cops.

It was a good day off, I did very little. Got my brakes fixed, two new tires and my front end aligned over at W&W Tire & Auto… visited Dad, ate chineese food, and avoided working somebody else’s shift at the Wellness Center. Its Friday night and I have nothing to do, how embaressing.

As far as TV goes I got the chance to checkout two new shows tonight, GameOver and Wonderfalls. Wonderfalls rocked my socks off, the main character girl looks sorta like Steph #1 aka. hot, and inanimate objects talk to her! I mean, wow, is there any better way to combine reminding me of a girl I used to ❤ while at the same time showing me a monkey statue saying "I love you"?!?! I think not, that show is off the hizzle fashizzle.

GameOver has no soul, I found it visually unimpressive and overly reliant on gas-based humor. For my entertainment dollar I’d rather see a 30 minute version of the Saturday Night Live news segment as hosted by Colin Quinn, at least that way I wouldn’t sit there for 30 minutes trying to catch gamer ‘in’ jokes (Abe and Crash were both in GameOver tonight), I’d just go “This ain’t no good” and shoot the TV. Like Elvis, baby.

Nintendo got a patent on handheld emulation, BLEH

Erik and I are superheroes. He is T-shirt man, whereas I am collared shirt man… in normal day-to-day activities I will wear T-shirts and he collared shirts, but when evil appears *HUZZAH* we run into the nearest changing rooms and emerge ready to take a bite out of the tastycake of crime.

I was playing with the EyeToy earlier and it got me all screwed up… I keep waving my arms around trying to click on things. If I wasn’t so well endowed I doubt I could manage to type right now.

Time to play Dissssgaeaaeaiaeaiaeaaa.

Today blew. Hard. Woke up, it was snowing, went to GameStop, worked from 10-2… left there, went to Justin’s, went back to the mall, Wellness Center from 5-9. I don’t think Mike trusts me, or something… I dunno, when I went to GameStop after the Wellness Center he kinda stood in my way… I’m probably just imagining things. Oh, and Eric Jr. (what mom’s Roomba was somehow named) was a disappointment when it came to vacuuming the store. I thought it would kick ass, and instead I wound up feeling like the Janitor’s son on ‘Whats Your Daddy Do’ day.

So when I closed out the register at the Wellness Center I accidentally clicked No when it prompted me to print out the register history for the day… I’d already taken the deposit out of the register, so I didn’t have to recount everything, but uhm… we’re kinda supposed to initial and keep those register printouts… and of course I couldn’t get in touch with Ray to tell me what to do (or to tell him how much $$ the store made today)… so thats no good. It’ll either be a quick fix when I open the store tommorow, or I’ll get bitched at profusely by the foreign guy.

Uhh, some good things happened too:

Ray is modding my XBox

Good numbers at GameStop

Got my registration stuff for CCBC




Worked for 8 hours(?)

Actually I don’t feel so bad now, go figure.

You’re saying ‘No no no!’ EB Games hears ‘Who wants cake?’

Tonight was extremely sketch… first off, I got like no sleep last night, so I was tired like ze bum all day. So after slaving away (riiight) at the Wellness Center for 25 hours (fifth that for accuracy) I went over to Erik’s… we played a little Phantasy Star Online III, which I enjoyed, and drove his mom’s new boyfriend Darsh home. Once we got back Mike came over, and he and Erik proceeded to play Yu-Gi-Oh while I fought like 2 battles in PSO3, during which time the Bonnie and Sarah Shade (both pictured below) got there. Bill finally arrived, the very same Bill who two days before kinda made it a point to disinvite me… (heh). I dunno, I just felt ‘off’ all night, and the whole thing with Bill and Erik didn’t really help…

Ok, so Bill is kinda the depressive type, and now that he found Jesus he is like… the gay best friend depressive type… so he was basically kissing ass and agreeing with everything Bonnie and Sarah said, hugging them, etc… Erik, Mike and I, on the other hand, have not found Jesus, and are therefore guylike in our having of spines and differing viewpoints and opinions. To be blunt when some dude is getting the attention of the girls’ you’re with, no matter if those girls are yours or not, that spells jealousy with a capital J. Granted the ‘gay best friend’ dude never gets laid, but still, Erik was definately extremely bothered.

I dunno, I guess it wasn’t that big of a deal but I was kinda torn between not wanting to look like an ass (bashing Bill in front of the girls) and supporting Erik.

At least Sarah had an ok time, I think. And my shrimp were delicious. The Clerks cartoon has it’s moments, but a good portion of it seems to last too long. Oh, and this chick whose name I think is Amy who apparently I’m partying with on St. Patty’s Day answered my cellphone and yelled at my cousin.


Saw The Passion a second time with Bonnie, Erik and Heather… then we hung out a little while over at Erik’s… it was nice, sorta like we had two really hot girlfriends for a night. Naturally, we don’t, but h-hey at least Erik has a chance with Heather =D

Started writing a C++ program at around 8 o’clock to format Trillian chatlogs into HTML. It started working at around 10pm… it is now 4am. Is the program done? Oh hell no, but its definately generating webpages (from text files mind you) which look comparable to AIM… from straight text files… extremely quickly. I threw a 1.5 meg logfile at it and a webpage was generated in, oh, 30 seconds or so. I’m pretty proud of myself, its good to see a year off from school hasn’t dulled me…


So… today I rolled out of bed around 2:30, watched a britcom and Dr. Phil and commenced to do absolutely nothing for the past 4 hours. Well, I ate, and declined an offer to go to Night Shift, so I guess it was more like almost nothing. Went to Denny’s with Ashley last night and watched Reality Bites, it wasn’t quite the movie I’d expected. I mean, Ben Stiller looks about 5, Winona doesn’t cut herself or steal anything and Genine Garoffalump pretends to be (err… acts) roughly twenty years younger than she actually was in 1994. Oh, and I got my PIN from the Fafsa people. Well, I requested they mail me my PIN, so if I ever walk out to the mailbox in the far future it will be there, waiting like a golden Wanka ticket to usher me back into the sacchrine gates of collegiate financial aid.

Woke up at 10, GameStop at 11, locked my keys in the car, off work at 4:15, waited for Mom to bring spare keys at 5:30, home at 6, get online, read the news, 8 o’clock. Watch Smallville and Angel, go to Justin’s house, copy Drakengard, play PS2. Come home, get online, update blog, time for bed.

This whole ‘having to sleep because I’ve got to be awake tommorow’ thing FUCKING BLOWS. What the hell happened? A year ago I was in college, next thing you know I’m drunk all the time bouncing around the US in search of true love… or sex… well, both, and now I do what exactly? Work every single goddamn day, thats what. I, Emory Myers, put up with a communist telling me I need to wipe down shelves (or else his world will explode) on an almost daily basis. Like they’ve even got shelves in the dirtbowl he probably calls the motherland… And for what? $6 per hour. The job does afford me certain other oppurtunities, like getting paid to read (since The Wellness Center is a ghosttown when it comes to the customer population) and pretending like I know what I’m talking about when I’m secretly just hoping whatever pills I’m shoving into the wrinkled hands of the elderly won’t give them a heartattack or a three hour erection. Oh, and slimming patches, did I mention slimming patches? Every fat bitch in Westminster wants some miracle cure to get rid of the 50lbs of cottage cheese pumping through their veins. Of course, ephedrine based products work, I just have to be sure not to tell Porkietta her body is turning that Zantrex-45 into crystal meth.

Anyhow, the point is I need a change. I read about 500 pages of an outdated A+ certification book last week. Why? To learn. I mean, thats pretty fucked up, voluntarily learning… So I’m going to fill out my FAFSA on Friday and probably be taking next semester at the local community college (they offer 4 classes I need… calc I, Bio, English and Health). I had thought about returning to the Frostburg, but honestly I’m staying out of trouble here, for the most part, and I kinda like it that way. Hell, if I keep this up I might land a decent girl. And after all, isn’t that the only reason I ever do anything?

My full name is Charles Emory Myers.