Archive for May, 2004


Moving out, woo. Just saw the Day After Tommorow, which was preceeded by a trailer for I, Robot. Hopefully I’ll actually get to witness a hostile robotic takeover or sudden global climate change within my lifetime. Apparently there are two bills kickin it in Congress that would reinstitute the draft around June 2005. And they include provisions so that 1) Being in college and B) Fleeing to Canada are no longer options to save your sorry ass. So, what to do? Well, you could start by being crazy, I really don’t think anyone in government would be dumb enough to stick a gun in my hands.

They should just draft gang members, they’re probably already a decent shot… and hey, if they die, who cares?

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The UPN original Repli-Kate was suprisingly good. That is all.

Yo, I just finished watching Colonial House… that shit was whack. They show like a whole summer in 8 episodes, that’d be like fittin a Tupac comp in five tracks, ya feel me? Shit son, I needed more of their colonial adventures, their friendships and heartaches, not to mention that goat milkin chicken head should holla back, even tho at the end she had some ZZ-Top beards growing out her pits. Nasty.

In other news I can eat again, which is good, since its one of those vital life processes.


Today I figured out the switch in that picture controls the light on the left. Its on the ceiling… Posted by Hello


I might move in with these guys soon… Posted by Hello

Well, turns out I’ve got either a Gallblatter infection or an ulser!! “Wammy blammy wowwie zowwie” LIFE SUCKS. “To all you sisters out there, never yank a prankster.” Since solid food = death, I went over to the Shopper’s Food Whorehouse with my cousin and got yoggurt. LOTS OF FUCKING YOGGURT!!! I’m going to eat Yoggurt THREE MEALS A DAY AND EVERYONE WILL SAY “hOLYT FUCK WHAT IS THAT?” and their mommys and daddies will point at me and laugh and I’ll throw yogurt at their ugly communist faces.

KodaDragon: Whatever, you’ll be able to watch the WB’s SUPERSTAR USA two times a week!

Deaftonight: fuck you. and fuck that show.

KodaDragon: Fuck you.

KodaDragon: That show is the bomb.

Deaftonight: ive never heard of that show

Deaftonight: and my house just started to smell like garlic bread

Deaftonight: how odd..

KodaDragon: I can’t eat Garlic Bread.

KodaDragon: It would kill me.

Deaftonight: allergic?

KodaDragon: No, at the moment solid food and soda makes my stomach go HOLY FUCK I’M ON FIRE AND I’M GOING TO EXPLODE AND SHOWER THE ROOM IN CRIMSON EMORY ENTRAILS…

Deaftonight: ummm… have you seen a doctor?

KodaDragon: Yeah, she’s the one who told me the two things that could be the problem.

Deaftonight: solid food and soda..

Deaftonight: wow, that limits your options greatly

KodaDragon: lol no shit

Deaftonight: you could drink slim fast

Deaftonight: its a meal… a liquid meal.

KodaDragon: I bought a lot of yoggurt.

Deaftonight: you get all vital nutrients, and you get full.

KodaDragon: I could drink Ensure, they gave that to my grandfather. When he was dying.

Deaftonight: OH GOD.

KodaDragon: ?

Deaftonight: i dont know whether to laugh or feel bad

KodaDragon: lol


I take a picture of flowers, it comes out like this =( Posted by Hello


Tichondrious attacks a Tron.. guy.. at GameStop(tm)! Posted by Hello


Anna – cute gamer girl. Posted by Hello

Well, my head gasket got blown, and no that isn’t some new sexual maneuver. In short something the size of a quarter, but with roughly four times the hole-causing power, punched a.. uhm, hole.. the size of a quarter… in my radiator. That was Sunday, sucks right? Yeah, pretty much, we’re talking 1.2k for a POS-CAR that cost about 2. Oh, and Monday the phone line died, limiting my contact with the outside world to those numbers stored in my cellphone. That is to say I slept, a lot, and writhed around in pain as something is most definately wrong with my stomach. Eating results in several hours of brow-sweat-level abdominal painitude… guess I’ll make a doctor’s appointment tommorow.


Happy Happy… JOY JOY Posted by Hello


Happy Happy… JOY JOY Posted by Hello

I’ve got Stephen Lynch songs… I forget why. I found Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh porn, damn crazy Japanese. I fucking hate musical guests, if I’m watching SNL its for comedy. If I wanted music I’d, I dunno, listen to it. I guess this type of ‘high-level’ thinking wasn’t anticipated by our zionist media overlords. Swordfish was on CBS earlier, good movie. Boss from the Wellness Center called my cellphone at 5:30, guess I’ll find out why tommorow. Oooh, SNL news segment, later.

Watched the Iraqi decapitation video… yaknow, the one where they chop Nick Burg’s head off? Well, chop sounds easy, they sorta saw it off. The same way you’d struggle to remove a turkey leg with a rusty butter-knife, except with more blood, screaming and hurried gibberish. The celebration afterwards is pretty on par with Thanksgiving tho, at least with my family.

So, Nick Burg, aren’t you glad we freed Iraq? Truly the only thing which outshines the gratitude of the previously downtrodden Iraqi people are their lucrative rebuilding/oil contracts… One more sacrifice for corporate America, the pagan god of success.

I just read Choke in one sitting.

So its E3 time, again. So far the PS2 price-dropped down to $150, the Nintendo DS kicked some ass with N64-style 3D and a palm-style-touchscreen, the new Zelda game is all realistic like and.. uhm… who gives a fuck?

Before you know it all the ‘cool’ gear they’re announcing right now will be crammed away in a drawer somewhere, right next to my GameBoy Color & Advance, quietly waiting to be boxed up at some point, forgotten about and eventually sold at around 1/10 of what was paid for them.

I don’t understand the chronic human fascination with things we do not have, and yet it plagues me. Daily.

I just switched comments over from Haloscan to native Blogger-style… so this post will serve to enable them, I think.

A site redesign is pending, constantly.

Arg, just looked in the image directory….

but GODDAMN, can I pick ’em or what?!?

Amy

Candace

Steph #2

Steph

It almost makes me look forward to the next abruptly ended dysfunctional long-distance semi-relationship.

Almost.

I covered Annette’s shift over at the Wellness Center tonight, that blew… I think the average amount of time between customers was something like 50 minutes. After that I picked up a copy of Fear Effect 2 for the PS1 (free), went to Denny’s with Justin (where we saw Sara Shade looking all cute and waaay too happy.) Came home and beat Xenosaga (that game is fucking sweet, but I dunno how they get away with advertising 80+ hours of gameplay… took me about 35.2.) Only problem is now its 5am and I’ve got to be awake in 6 hours… beating Xenosaga got me all looking forward to the next one, which I’ve got reserved… even tho it won’t be out until like February 2005.

Word to your mother.

Van Helsing was good, but I felt bad for Dracula, he just wasn’t that evil. His main motivation throughout the entire film was to bring his children to life… thats a pretty understandable goal, almost noble… sure his children are blood-sucking imps, but cmon, everyone loves imps right?!? Anyhow, don’t sit through the credits like I did (and by I, I mean we, being Justin, Mike, Erik, Katrina and myself) since Dracula, at no point between mentions of Grips and Lackies, comes back to life.

In retrospect I think Dracula may have been let into heaven, since he was the son of the guy that made a deal with the church that should Dracula be destroyed, his entire family would be let into heaven. I mean, I can’t really see why being a good guy and all you’d make that deal, since you’re pretty much guaranteed a spot next to Big J, UNLESS you (here we go) loved your child despite his horribleness and wished him not to burn in the fires eternal. And by this token, Dracula’s family (including all his little impspawn and brides) would be let into heaven as well… I’m not sure if this is how the writer intended it, but damnit, just because human blood is the main ingredient in your dietary requirements it shouldn’t mean you need to suffer needlessly.

Count Smokula wants $10 for an autograph? Can you believe that shit, even after I wrote him that nice email about his appearance on that dating show (yaknow, the one with Rodger Lodge)… oh well, I guess I should be happy he wrote me back at all (and its kinda neat he spelled everything the way he’d say it.. lots of vit and heppy etc…) Oh, in other news, Dad (the parent I don’t live with who doesn’t use the internet) got the broadband… so right now I’m on broadband… yay. I’ll figure out how to use this development nefariously in no time.

Some girl in the store wearing a Bobby’s World shirt asked me if I wanted a sticker, I said Yes! without hesitation and presented my arm… it was a picture of her and her friend that says ‘Summer Lovin’, I stuck it on my ID (it was going to fall off my arm.) I had no idea we had a photo-booth in the mall. And now for something completely different:

Dear Emorym,

I am 8 and used to suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder until my mom starting making these kick ass muffins and now I cannot stop screwing the dog, what should I do?

Stoned and Screwing Fido in Sa | 04.29.04 – 10:03 pm

Well Stoned, I think first off its important we address these disorders of yours… ADHD, for instance, is bullshit. As for oppositional defiant disorder, it isn’t a disorder, its a direct side effect of having a brain (assuming of course you’re male.) Bipolar… well, I dated a girl with bipolar, but even she didn’t fuck dogs. Unless you count me. Uhm, as for post-traumatic stress, well… you’re 8, so I really fucking doubt you’ve been through anything bad enough, yet. Fucking the dog might do it tho. As far as what you should do, I’d suggest you send me some of those muffins and chill with the bestiality.

-EmoryM

Went to NY today. Saw the Googlyheim (got yelled at about Intellectual Property rights by a security guard for photographing Nude Descending a Staircase, the dumb fuck), ate a black & white cookie (the Seinfeldian icon for racial harmony), saw Times Square (well, from the bus, bleh) and impressed Erik with my SNES-emulating-box-of-X. I was a little disappointed by the fact I didn’t recognize anyone in NY, but we did meet this black guy named Chuck who, after we declined marijuana, tried to sell us porn DVDs. And a toolset. Then we got free posters from some starving artist, crappy posters… but hey, if he becomes famous… they’re only prints so they’ll still be worthless =( The girl search continues, its a real shame I always end relationships so cut & dry, everything I’m looking for I’ve found previously, oh well. Some guys on the radio said today was the end of the world, so I kept bracing for some act of God, no dice. I am fucking exhausted, at least I don’t work til 4 tommorow… these are some comfortable jeans.