Category: Whateverinos


“Depression puts you in a hole and once you try to climb out everyone starts throwing dirt on ya” – EmoryM

Bert’s 4th Birthday

Maybe I’ll see him for 3 hours, maybe not. Hope to. Bought presents, hope he doesn’t already have them, no way to know. When the kids grow up and ask about these terrible times what do we say? “Mommy told everyone Daddy was going to kill her so they treated him like a monster?”

Eventually she’ll talk to me again, she’ll realize she’s made mistakes and things will get better for everyone – I’ve got to believe that because the alternative is so sad for everyone, especially our kids. Interact with me for 2 minutes without wanting me to be a bad guy and it’s clear I’m just a dude who loves and worries about my family.

Everyone makes mistakes and when they do you forgive them. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

One of my favorite songs?

I’ve got favorites again and they’re the same. Back to 140lbs. The world is sick but I’m not.

H-hey! Listen!

Just checked the bot – won THREE more games! I’m a triple-winner, clearly I have won the lord’s favor.

One of the clients who ghosted me on Upwork had died, just got a message from his brother. This was already a heavy day – dreamed about our family, Bert asked to come here, Bert asked me to come home, Corina adores me, GAL called me about something in August… and now I’m confronting death. Oh yeah, I’ve got to call my defense attorney.

It’s okay, heavy days are an opportunity to show I’m a man. I’m a man who won Chameleon Run Deluxe Edition, A Girls Fabric Face and Cyber City 2157: The Visual Novel.

;)

Good things.

Here’s a thing I’ve been working on to learn animation & networking. Learned inverse kinematics yesterday for gun holding/aiming. Goal is making a game to play with Justin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtqalbaAn4Y

My Upwork account is in the top 5% of new accounts or something, they labelled me ‘Rising Talent’ – that’s cool. No way I could ever make enough there to cover rent + legal costs + child support but it’s nice to have some good news.

Bot won another game but it was so low-budget I’m scared that it’s actually a miner or trojan or something, not going to install it. If junk like that can get onto Steam and sell 1 copy then I should probably put my new indie hit “Spiders Crawl up Wall to Eerie Music” up for sale for $1.

 

The Search

Bot won another game. No idea what this one is, going in completely blind.

Ok, played for a few minutes – it’s a Myst-style puzzle clickin’ searchin’ game. Not my jam but uh I don’t know, forget whether Anna likes these, maybe the kids might some day. Pretty high concept, hitting a little close to home.

Ergh.

Today the kids indicated someone I don’t know is letting them dance to this:

My kids are 1 and 3. This song is about trying to bang strippers. Deep goncern.

Another day another win by my awesome bot. Today it won The Deer, a $0.99 game which I’m sure is a masterpiece. Honestly I shouldn’t judge a game by the name and price. I shouldn’t judge things at all, but I will…

And… it’s just a little educational game, the graphics have a painterly look and it’s full of facts and “games” for kids. I was hoping for something completely bizarre, this is only slightly bizarre. Another one for Bert and Corina I guess. Not garbage.

Court

I get judged in 40 minutes. Not sure what they can take from me – do they harvest organs? 🤣

If’n I’m not jailed I’ll go to the dollar to look for something to amuse the kiddos with for the other 3 hours I hopefully see them this week.

I should probably feel worse but after seeing the kids this morning I’m still happy.

Wish me luck! Or hope they lock me away forever! I guess it’s all a matter of perspective – am I a guy who recovered from depression and tried to save his family… or am I a violent cyber-Hitler hacker supreme?

I think it should be breddy obvious by now but sometimes mistakes are hard to admit.

Won another game – my bot is working overtime – but what is it? Let’s find out!

Edit: It’s a $2 RPG maker game…  the window is like 320 x 200.  Is so tiny.  I’m still a winner, though – thanks, bot!

Adventure Pals

My Steamgifts bot won me another game – Adventure Pals! Well, I like adventures and I like pals… so I’ll give it a shot. #Winning

Edit: It’s actually pretty good and super goofy, I think Bert would love it.

HOTDOG MAN

I think Corina will enjoy it when she’s older, she LOVES animals (especially elephants, which I have yet to find in the game.)

I’m awesome at Adventure Pals!

Welp

It’s possible I’ll be going to jail for a year or paying a $5000 fine for violating the domestic violence protection order Anna got the State of Washington to issue after she told them she thought I was going to kill everyone I love.  That’s uh… well…  it is what it is I guess.  I just wanted to make sure Bert and Corina gave their mommy a present for her birthday, here’s what they/I gave her:

For all I know those mugs wound up in the garbage… but it was fun designing them, at least.  I’m terrified but I’m always terrified so it really doesn’t feel any different.  I’ve lost everything at this point – I feel normal for 6 hours a week – I’ve spent a princely sum and things haven’t gotten better – a 5k fine and 12 months in prison doesn’t compare with not being able to take my family to a restaurant or tell my kids goodnight.  This is going to affect my ability to find a job (I think the DVPO already has) but hey, that’s great motivation for starting a company or being a freelancer!

Alright, I guess I’ve got to fill out some paperwork for a divorce I don’t want so my wife who I love can be free of me.  Some day everyone will realize they’ve made a mistake and destroyed me for being depressed… right when I recovered.  I hope I get the chance to forgive everyone while the kids are still kids.  I miss Vin.

This sums things up pretty well – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_HoMkkRHv8 – enjoying music again is pretty cool.

Disbelief

Sometimes I still wake up in complete disbelief that this is my life, gripped by absolute terror – my family is the world to me, this life is the farthest from what I want – will things keep getting worse?  I haven’t been depressed for a year and as much as I’ve changed for the better sometimes it feels pointless – the more I try the worse things get.

I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know why telling myself “you’re going to get your family back” helps, I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to do it, but it’s the only thing that does.  How am I supposed to do it?  I really need an answer, if you’re reading this then please help me.  How in the heck does an Emory get an Anna back?

However bad things get I can’t give up – I didn’t give up when she said she didn’t love me, I didn’t give up when she said she wanted a divorce, I didn’t give up when she said I’m not attractive, I didn’t give up when she started saying I’m abusive outta nowhere, I didn’t give up when she took my life away – can you see the pattern?  Don’t tell me to give up or move on, I absolutely will not abandon my family – I’m not that modern.

I’ve gotten back to being pretty a loveable, optimistic, good looking and good natured guy – being depressed for years took more than a few months to recover from – but now what?  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the mother of my children and my life partner for over a decade to give our family a 2nd chance but the broad would have me thrown in jail for sneezing in a movie theater, I really can’t uh do much at this err juncture.  Maybe marriage and family is just a mistake in 2019, I dunno.  I know what’s right and this ain’t it.

Rent

Paying my rent always reminds me of how Anna used to decorate our rent payments when we lived in Hampstead.

Beautiful Day

I hope someone took my kids swimming today – I don’t even know who’s living in my home right now but I hope they took Bert and Corina swimming in my pool, because I can’t.  I hope the people I love realize the mistake they’re making soon, how much they’re hurting the kids and I, because things won’t stay this way and there’s no reason for them to be this way now.  At least I’ll be able to look at my kids one day and tell them I loved their mother even when it was hard, people can take everything I’ve got but they can’t take that away from me.

Apartment Living

Bert asked me if I mowed the lawn – had to explain I don’t have one here, our lawn is at home.  I asked Bert if he’d help me figure things out when he’s older and smarter than me – he said when he grows up he wants to live in an apartment like I do and with me.  I don’t know how anybody does this to a kid, I couldn’t, not unless I was sick.  Just realized emorym.com is still pointing at Wikipedia if you use http instead of https- oops, fixed.

Wii

Up to 12 neutral-grip and 8 overhand pullups, down to 150lbs.  Biggest differences in chest, arms & shoulders.  Gonna look silly if I don’t keep doing squats, getting to the point I can’t skip leg day.  Playing a game with Justin this afternoon.  Need to find a new place to live.  Really wish I could play Trauma Center and Everybody Votes with my best friend again.

Today

I’m always so excited to see our kids that I have everything ready an hour before I need to and then I’ve got to sit around.  Today I cooked/fixed bacon, fruit roll-em-ups, toasted PB&J & honey peanut-butter graham crackers.  Bert always wants to watch stuff so I download videos to my phone so we don’t accidentally see ads or anything inappropriate, today we’re watching Pororo Episode 3 and Mickey Mouse – Wild Waves.  Maybe some “Toy Man” if one of them is pooping.

If I could think of anything else I could do for my family I’d be doing it.  If anybody has ideas let me know.

Bots

Started running my contest-entering bot a few days ago, already won a new game – BeeFense.  That’s right world, I’m a winner, deal with it.  Got a gig on Upwork to write a bot that monitors Beatport charts – I’d never seen Beatport before but it seems pretty decent.  I guess I’ll never see most websites that aren’t in my niche or the Alexa top 100, you know?  I really love writing and running bots, one of the 5 questions I ask myself every morning is “What can I program today?”  The other 4 are “What’s great about Bert and Corina?” “How can I have fun today?” “How can I improve myself today?” and “What will be great about being fit?”  I don’t need to ask myself “How can I get my family back?” because that’s always running through my head for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health and even in my dreams – I seriously get no relief from thoughts about Anna and the kids.  I’m lucky to have people in the world I love so much no matter what, there are some people who don’t love anyone – that’s gotta be worse.

Gonna go donate blood plasma tomorrow, it’s been too long since I donated blood and most people don’t donate plasma because it takes so long.  I’ve got the time.

I hope somebody told our kids to sing today.

Before I forget

New version of the NES Art Bot – https://twitter.com/nintendoartbot – it’s using some NES constraints now related to tiles, backgrounds and sprites, I think the results look better.  Twitter compresses, mangles and stretches the heck out of these.

Also playing with non-malicious DeepFakery.  Today I asked Bert if I could record him leaning back as far as he could… I didn’t have any photos of him at that angle.  Also got some good profile images.  Woman who works there looked at me like I’ve got two heads.  Can’t wait until the day people wake up and realize how cool I am, then the kids and I can make crazy videos all day every day.

Welp

Might be going to jail for making sure my kids gave their mommy a birthday present. I have to keep doing the right thing regardless of the outcome. I love my family.

Update: Alright, bailed myself out – I hope Anna likes those birthday presents from the kids, two mugs that cost $40 and took 6 hours to design have now cost me another $420 + 24 hours.

So what’s not so bad about jail? You can sleep as much as you want on a hard mattress with no pillow, you can read as much as you want of sequels (seriously every book there was a Part 2), the guards are mostly friendly, the uniforms are green (my favorite color!) and the other inmates seem nice enough.  There are anti-rape posters on every wall, so that’s neat.

Do I want to go back? Nope. Do I think I will? No idea – she’s tried to have me sent a few times but this is the first thing I actually did that deserved it (buying presents is a violation of the order intended to protect her from imaginary murderous intent.) It’s possible that when I go back to court for this thing I’ll get some more time in there. It is what it is.  If I were her I wouldn’t expect any presents from the kids in the future unless someone else steps up… which I hope they do… because at the end of the day I hope there’s still a nice person inside of her.

I haven’t understood most of what she’s done for months in terms of ripping our families apart and wounding our kids for life, so I won’t lose sleep over it, but sending me to jail for making sure Bert and Corina have a birthday present to give her is sick. What kind of father wouldn’t make sure his children have presents to give their mother on her birthday? I lost some sleep last night but that was mostly down to spending from 10pm-1am in a 60 degree holding cell – on the bright side I don’t think I’ve shivered that hard since the one time we came back from a vacation in the winter and hadn’t turned on the heat in our apartment. How many socks did we wear then? I forget, but I remember that even the hand soap was frozen solid.  Better and colder times.


I wish I knew, Google Photos. I wish I knew.

Saturday!

Got to see Bert and Corina on a Saturday for the first time in 6 months. We watched Pororo, Grover and Mickey. Corina loves Anna more than she enjoys watching cartoons so we wound up watching a few videos of our family too. Corina likes her bacon crispy, Bert likes his soft… so next time I’ve got to cook half one way and half another. Bert told me he woke up during that earthquake and I wasn’t there to protect him – what would have happened if I’d called to make sure my family was safe? No idea. This domestic violence protection order is accomplishing two things: allowing people who are mistaken about me to remain that way and interfering with my love for our kids. There is nothing to protect anyone from, it’s so dumb. If Anna is starting to realize how unnecessary all of this then soon enough we’ll be having a laugh about the half a year we spent living in a Lifetime movie.

Probably going on a hot air balloon ride soon, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do… I want to go “uppy uppy uppy!” I don’t know if Anna would’ve done that with me but I wish I’d brought it up a decade ago.

Bacon

Bert didn’t know what bacon was so now I can cook bacon.

Bringing that boy some bacon.

Do I think he’ll eat it? Nope.

Corina might. I definitely will.

Update: Bert liked it! Corina didn’t seem to understand the texture, chewed it pretty thoroughly and then spit it out into her hand and gave it to me. Thanks, honey.

Peanut butter + honey + oats = peanut butter oat squares. Letting them set, if they’re not too gooey I’ll be bringing some when I see Bert and Corina tomorrow. I have a good feeling about these.

I just noticed they’ve got the same crying mouth shape.

Edit: I showed this to Bert and he wanted to know why he was purple. Why why why why? Corina just said “Baby!” I love them so much.

One good thing about being away from the people you love is that it helps you realize how important they are – every day I wake up and I know who I love and how much. I don’t think many people get to start their day like that, do they?

I’ve got no idea how I’m going to get my family back, I just know I need to do it before this hurts Anna and the kids more than it already has. The older Bert and Corina get the more they’re going to need me there, every day… and they already do. Sticking them in daycare or bringing in strangers to take care of them isn’t a solution, I am irreplaceable. Whether they can communicate that yet or not doesn’t matter – the statistics on children of divorce make it clear that this is in no way good for them.

The biggest mistake I’ve made during the last year was focusing on the thing I didn’t want to happen, the divorce, instead of the thing that matters to me, Anna’s feelings. I was too hurt to think clearly but no excuses. One of these days I’ll get my right to free speech back and do everything I can to remind her of who recognized her beauty in an ‘ugly’ picture, talked to her on the phone for years, took her to Denny’s, drove through a blizzard to profess his love, rescued her from her father, gave her a place to live, spilled tea everywhere, moved across the country to support her education, let a kitten loose in the car, edited comp answers, encouraged her to start a business, spent tens of hours shopping for engagement rings, loves her family as much as she does, fathered her children, loves her even through all of this and is too stubborn to stop.

Maybe we’ll already be divorced before I’m free to speak – doesn’t matter, don’t care. The money we’re wasting on this I can earn back. The time I’m losing with the kids I will make up to them somehow. Everyone who has taken her side? Already forgiven. I took vows and I meant them, I have children and I love them.

I made brownies…

Well… they’re brown! I got that part right!

I was going to try soaking one in milk but they’re so great I can’t even cut them – they’re positively impervious. The corner is missing because I cut one when they were still warm and only slightly hard. Now they are not warm. Now they are chocolate concrete.

=/

Kids and I have lost 5 months of time while they’re 1 and 3.

Never getting that time back. It hurts.

I’m not depressed, I’m not dangerous.

We’re all being punished.

Talking to Mom Mom helps.

Happy Fathers Day!

The 6 hours I spend as a father every week are what keeps me going, can’t wait until the kids are old enough to give me ties or something.

Yech.

Bert watches this at home now apparently:

I show him videos I made when we were a family and this:

I can only control what I do, I’ve just got to keep reminding myself of that.

do not want

Divorcing someone you love is hard. You have a nice dream about her and then you wake up and… well, that person doesn’t exist right now. 404. Not the best way to start a day.

New Animal Crossing at E3… I mean I know she doesn’t play games anymore, and definitely doesn’t have the time now, but the urge to share hasn’t gone away. Did she watch the new David Tenant show on Prime? I hope so! Did she watch Game of Thrones? I didn’t, didn’t feel right without her. I do so many dumb things she’d laugh at and I know she would because I know her. I bought single-ply toilet paper… and learned my lesson. I tried to make tacos in my George Foreman grill – oh lord the greases. Bought a pull-up bar that goes in the door frame and I use it but everything starts creaking like I’m about to bring the building down. Right now I’m trying to make fruit rolls by dehydrating apple sauce – I mean, is that even? What am I doing?

I’d get a pet but I feel like that would be betraying our cats. Any time I do anything I think Anna or the kids would enjoy I feel like I’m betraying them. Just constant internal conflict, that’s me these days. Still can’t get my brain to understand that the cats are not here, the white or black thing in my peripheral vision is not Ivy or Cuddlepuff. I’d kill for some occipital neural plasticity.

New Zelda game at E3 and I want to know what Vin thinks but by the time we’re talking it’s possible I’ll have beaten it. I hope everyone who sided with Anna, convinced her that this was the right thing to do and/or provided letters… I just really hope all those people are helping her with the kids so she can get a break. Maybe she got the 2nd aupair by now, is Melena even there anymore? I get villainized if I ask Bert questions about Corina’s preferences, if I started asking questions about their lives I’d probably be hung in the public square. Not knowing what my kids are doing most of the time… I really don’t understand how men abandon their families willingly. Why would anyone do this to themselves?

Anyway I’m sitting here doing the paperwork that her lawyer wants. It’s hard to get through because it makes me sad, that’s why I’m writing this instead. Gotta get back to it. Putting effort and finances into this mistake… it’s hard to do. I’ve got a fixed amount of time on this planet, I should be working for her and the kids, supporting her the way I always did when I was well and being a good Dad. I should be making people happy, this is just going to make our kids sad forever. If they weren’t holding Bert and Corina hostage I wouldn’t participate.

Alright, good news: Apple slices dehydrated nicely. Got up to 100 pushups per day. Feeling strong. Ortho and dentist appointments tomorrow.

When do I stop wanting to come home?

Update: When you dehydrate applesauce you get a fruit roll-up! I ate it, 4/5 stars – a bit too tough, try 4 hours instead of 5. Psyched. Going to try some jelly.

Operation

I couldn’t play this as a kid, the sound + light scared me. Bert and I had a lot of fun with it – give him love and encouragement and he’s a brave little boy. He was very concerned about how the man would feel if we took his bones out and I explained that he’d feel better because everything we were taking out bothered him. He was also concerned that the picture of the man on the box didn’t match the man in the game – I explained to him about artists and interpretations. When I have more than 3-6 hours with him per week we’re going to have so much more fun, it’s going to be great. He’s expressed interest in going back to Jujitsu!

Damn.

Finally got around to taking all the pictures of Bert from his nannycam for the first two years of his life and making a video. I know it’s mostly hilarious but it makes me too sad to watch right now. Wish I could see my kids, wish my wife loved me, etc – every day stuff for me for months now. Oh well, can’t control what other people do, right? Just gotta keep loving my family, trying to do the right thing and hoping something changes. Would post the full video but it definitely contains nudity. Everyone’s nudity. Somebody was always naked. Here’s 15 seconds that’s safe. It’s an hour and fifteen minutes of this.

Since I bought a George Foreman grill my diet has gone from carbs to protein. Beef burgers, turkey burgers and fish. Man food. Bert wanted a “cheeseburger with peanut butter and jelly” so I just made a slider with those toppings – if I don’t puke I’ll let him try one tomorrow.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Hard.

It’s hard to go through all these old messages between Anna and I – it puts me in the frame of mind I was in at the time.

Now I’m at the part where the depression kicks in.  Anna was trying to cheer me up.

4/22/2015 – that’s when emails make it obvious I’m getting sick.

7/27/2018 – still sick.

8/31/2018 – back to normal.

Unfortunately by then the love and playfulness had dried up.

I guess I’ll just put on my willywinners, dry my dingus and scramble bamble.

Mars

Got the kids a couple of boarding passes.  Apparently their names will be etched onto a silicon chip and carried to Mars by a rover in 2020.

Wew.

As part of losing everything they make you go back through all your family photos.

I don’t know what to do, I miss this beast something fierce.  I got well too late.  I’m sorry.

I just want to come home.

For the Kids’ Sake

In Washington State when your wife decides to kick you out of your family you’ve got to attend this 4.25 hour seminar called For the Kids’ Sake. As if you weren’t heartbroken enough you get to learn how your children will never recover, divorce never ends and you’ll always be fighting. I saw nothing in those 4.25 hours which made me desire this future for myself, my wife or our children. Bert and Corina deserve better than this, I don’t understand how anyone thinks otherwise. I want to stay married and our kids are going to want us to be married.

At one point the ‘teacher’ defined anger as a secondary emotion, said that anger can be healthy to express and then said the difference between anger and rage is that in rage someone is scared. I asked “So if you’re angry, but I’m a very fearful person, does that mean you’re enraged?” Her answer, of course, was “Yes.” I’m living in Clown World – I can be considered violent without having committed violence because my emotions are decided by yours.

The world can go crazy but I will remain true to myself: I will always love my family and I will never hurt them. I do not want a divorce, I just want to come home and be a father and husband. I was depressed, I’m not now, I’m sorry and I couldn’t control it. By the time I understood the severity of our problems it had been decided for me that divorce was the only solution. I will always be willing to do what is best for our children and the statistics make it clear what that is. I will forgive my family for anything.

When I was depressed I said and did a lot of things which I regret, though none as horrible as the things I’ve been accused of. I can make amends to everyone except the one person who really deserves them.

Spaghett

Went to the libraries in Mill Creek and Marysville to track down books about Monster Trucks for Bert. Came home and Dad had made spaghetti. I didn’t really want to eat it and then I looked – he’d cut all the noodles up into little pieces. I find the long noodles annoying and when I expressed that he agreed emphatically. We ate the spaghetti. No fever for 24 hours, throat is still sore but I think the cold is almost over.

:/

The saddest part of this divorce is my son asking me “When are you coming home?” “Why don’t you come home?” “Are you coming home?” every time I see him at supervised visitation. He’s bright and the strategy of redirection with a “I’m here now, let’s play!” isn’t working. I’m not allowed to do anything else.

The next saddest thing is that Anna has convinced herself I was reading her emails, listening to her calls, etc. The truth is just that I love her – when she’d talk to me I’d listen.

Sorry kids, I tried as hard as I could. Maybe something changes in the future but I wouldn’t bet on it.

I’ve been playing video games for about 27 years now, starting with the NES, and I’ve never been less hyped about a Nintendo console or handheld.  I don’t think I’m alone here and my issue isn’t the price, it’s Nintendo’s track record.

Nintendo’s last handheld, the 3DS, is on its 3rd hardware revision.  The original 3DS was a beautiful system that I’ll miss owning, but holding it hurt my hands and it managed to scratch itself… so I upgraded to the XL.  I thought it was dumb that the XL didn’t include a 2nd analog stick, since at the time Nintendo was selling that idiotic Circle Pad Pro accessory, but whatever.  A little later and Nintendo released the New 3DS XL, which not only has a 2nd analog but superior guts which allows for SNES emulation and things like a Xenoblade port.  Having spent $250(?) on my launch 3DS and another $100 upgrading to the XL, I sat out the New – it just isn’t worth it.

Nintendo’s last home console, the Wii U, they supported for basically 4 years… the first and last of which were droughts.  3rd parties were repulsed by the comparatively weak hardware and while the 1st party games were excellent, they disappeared for the last year while Nintendo shifted all development to the Switch.

So the situation I’m looking at is Nintendo releasing a hybrid handheld/console, when they’re on the 3rd hardware revision of their last handheld and they supported their last console for just 4 years.  They’re launching in the middle of a generation with hardware that’s weak compared to the PS4 and Xbox One, to say nothing of the PS4 Pro and Project Scorpio.  Combine that with the poor localization coming from Nintendo of America and it’s just…  sad.

Sorry Nintendo.

Society

My controversial ideas I should probably keep to myself: Diversity should be a natural side-effect of equality – when we treat each other as equals, everyone will be judged on merit and other things (race, sex, age) won’t be part of the equation.

We never quite managed to get equality as a society – we became obsessed with jumping straight to diversity. In order to achieve diversity without equality, we had to attach additional value based on the phenotype of an individual. Our society is unwittingly attempting to achieve diversity by sacrificing equality – we purposefully draw attention to the things that make us different.

To say that this is divisive is an understatement.

ie. Buying a game gets you a game, but buying a game made by a woman gets you a game and diversity. It doesn’t stop there – it extends to supporting publications based on the gender and orientation of journalists, watching streamers on Twitch, supporting creators on Patreon, funding KickStarters, etc. Any movement which supports one person over another based on phenotype is discriminatory – discrimination always invites blowback.

We’ve gone from embracing one divisive paradigm (the old boy network) to another (the diversity movement) and there is no end in sight – there is nothing unique about gaming, it is just another battleground.

If you identify as a feminist, SJW, MRA or anything else I think you’re going about things the wrong way… but I don’t blame you.

  1. It’s possible we’re living through a period, like when mascot platformers or World War 2 shooters reigned supreme, which will naturally decline.
  2. If someone feels their values/beliefs/gender/skin/sexuality/etc. aren’t represented in art they’re free to express themselves through creation (making games has never been easier!)
  3. Consumers will probably tire of any trend and begin seeking novelty – underrepresentation is opportunity.
  4. The only games which actually represent players feature character customization which usually allows for female characters to be created.
  5. If VR takes off and you look down and your boobs are gone then you’re probably not going to be immersed.

Trollplaying Game

F2P MMORPG where you’re always in a single player instance, chat is global and all gameplay is quick time events. All chat is voice chat and the volume of a user is determined by the pitch of their voice. You cannot fail events, though earnest success earns you more experience – the game has RPG elements like a tech tree and stats, though the stats raise automatically when you level and the tech tree is entirely linear. Equipment is purely aesthetic, though you’re only able to obtain wearable equipment from a global auction house (the only verb you’re afforded on found equipment is ‘list’.) You build a character by placing 2 of the abilities you’ve unlocked onto a hotbar, which is activated with the ESC and Pause/Break keys.

My cat is the best cat. She goes to the bathroom in the bathroom like a person. My other cat is also the best cat, she loves to eat and always sleeps where it is the warmest. My girlfriend is the best girlfriend, she buys me good food at the store and kisses me and says nice things a lot. I study computer stuff and how to make better bad guys in computer games, like how to make the bad guys do better stuff and act more like people. I have the best life and I never sleep.

If I ever hire an engineer…

We’re just trying to gauge your thinking process, so feel free to ask questions.

How many ounces of mood slime would it take to provide a coat 1″ thick covering the interior of the statue of liberty?

If you were attempting to interface this psychoreactive ooze with peripherals designed for a Nintendo Entertainment System, what steps would you take?